Monday, Oh No!

Making Mondays just possibly, slightly, a little bit more bareable than getting a root canal.

News: Airline Cutbacks – Yes More. July 12, 2008

Filed under: Funny News — MondayOhNo @ 12:29 am
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WASHINGTON (MON) — Today a group representing US Airways, American Airlines, and Delta announced further cutbacks to help curtail ever increasing gas expenses.  Earlier in the week the airliners outlined a plan to remove their entertainment systems which can weigh up to 500 pounds. 

Spokesman Carlyle Smith had this to say:

With ever increasing fuel costs, without relief in sight, it is our groups’ opinion that the following changes be necessarily made.  We propose that all guests only wear Croc brand shoes.  While this will assist us in lowering the unneeded weight of heavier leather or other synthetic material based shoes, and it will also help you, our guests.

We’ve also decided to replace some plane landing gears with a lighter more fun landing device.  It is an inflatable landing pad made from a new type of rubber, and is comparable with what NASA has used in the past for various lunar landings.  This will only be apart of a preliminary program and is not yet being considered for full implementation.

While some of the changes have come to some as a shock one person seemed adament.  Eleanor Svenson of Boise, Idaho said:

I’m quite excited about all of the changes.  I adore Crocs shoes and I love bouncy castles, I’m in my element.  I’m determined to help keep travel costs low.  I’ve even forced my husband to stop wearing heavy unnecessary boxers, and to switch over to lighter weight synthetic bikini cuts!

 

Thought of the week April 28, 2008

Filed under: Thought of the week — MondayOhNo @ 11:35 am
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Never forget a friend, especially those that owe you

 

Picture: Squirrel Free Time (Squirrel Jedi) April 28, 2008

Filed under: Funny Pictures — MondayOhNo @ 11:34 am
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Thou Shalt Not Lie April 28, 2008

Filed under: Christian Jokes — MondayOhNo @ 11:25 am
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A minister told his congregation, “Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17.”

The following Sunday, as he prepared to deliver his sermon, the minister asked for a show of hands. He wanted to know how many had read Mark 17.

Every hand went up.

The minister smiled and said, “Mark has only 16 chapters. I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying.”

 

Thought of the week April 21, 2008

Filed under: Thought of the week — MondayOhNo @ 6:21 pm
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Suburbs are areas where people called developers cut down trees and then name the streets after them.

 

Picture: Worst Job April 21, 2008

Filed under: Funny Pictures — MondayOhNo @ 6:19 pm
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Just a little hair dye April 21, 2008

Filed under: Man/Woman Jokes — MondayOhNo @ 6:17 pm
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There once was a blonde who was sick of all the blonde jokes, so she decided to dye her hair red and try and trick everyone into thinking that she was a redhead.

After she dyed her hair, she went for a drive to see if she could trick anyone.

She came across a sheep herder and his herd and said, “If I can guess how many sheep you have in your herd, can I take one home?”

The sheep herder said, “Sure!”

The blonde proudly said, “There are 345 sheep.”

The sheep herder exclaimed, “Wow! That is absolutely right, so go ahead and pick a sheep to take home.”

The Blonde got out, got a sheep, and put it in her car.

The sheep herder said, “Now I have a deal for you. If I can guess your real hair color, can I have my dog back?”

 

Picture: Why work? Hold a meeting! April 14, 2008

Filed under: Funny Pictures — MondayOhNo @ 12:10 pm
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Thought of the week: April 14, 2008

Filed under: Thought of the week — MondayOhNo @ 11:50 am
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Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

 

Picture: How To Spend Your Stimulus Money April 14, 2008

Filed under: Funny Pictures — MondayOhNo @ 11:47 am
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